What I forgot to say, and will never mention
by DarlingDaughterJam
Summary: A telling of how Sirius Black fell madly in love with Remus Lupin, but hadn't noticed for quite some time. And how much of an idiot he is for not paying more attention too the power of the heart. But that sounds too sappy, right? Forget I mentioned it. Written by yours truly, Sirius Black
1. Prologue:Year 1The Start of something

I do not own Harry Potter. :3 Enjoy~

* * *

Prologue: Year one, Day one

I didn't talk to him, not at first, but I wanted to.

Remus Lupin was standing by the train with another kid- somewhat taller than him with sloppy black hair and glasses- and waiting patiently as the other spoke. They were already in their clean, new Hogwarts robes, as was I. From the distance that I watched the two, I could tell that Remus was the shy type, with his light brown hair and sheltered stance. This was the typed of person that said 'I don't want you to know me.'

For the sake that I was, and always will be, a rebellious person, this fact made me want to talk to him even more.

Nonetheless, at the moment I hadn't had the chance, because mum was kissing me goodbye, and dad was giving us the look that told us if we didn't live up to expectations (especially I) we'd both have him to deal with. At last, Regulus gave me a hug, and I was finally gone.

I will never be quite able to elaborate the amazingness of the feeling of freedom I got that first time of leaving my family, but I _can_ tell you that it is to this day the third most powerful emotion that I have ever felt. I could tell you the other two, but there wouldn't be much more point to this story if I jumped ahead.

Moving on.

The first train ride had been painfully long and boring. The entire ride I was stuck with my 'dear cousin' Narcissa Black, and her crew of cronies, this involving the dreadfully self-centered Lucius Malfoy. Never had I heard a boy within four elder years of my own birth talk about his heritage so much.

Eventually, hours had passed, and the train had reached its destination.

It being my first year, I joined the others following Hagrid to the lake. I joined a few other prospective Slytherins in the journey across, and did my best to block them out of my head. As much as I hated listening to idiots as such as these, I did for the same reason I did everything else that I really didn't want to- my parents. 'I couldn't afford to embarass them.'

Before I knew it, I was approaching the stool and the sorting hat with a tentative sort of confidence. I smiled, because that's what mum and dad would've wanted to see. Pretty soon, I'd be seated at the Slytherin table, failing to exceed in social expectations.

But I was wrong.

A young Professor McGonnagal placed the hat upon my head, and my sorting began.

'So, another Black is it? Pure, pure blood..' it told me.

To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. I had not been expecting the hat to start talking to me, nor had I expected it to read into my head.

'Don't be shocked boy, just allow me to do what I do best. Do you trust me to place you in the House that you belong?'

_**'Yes.'**_ I thought, taking a deep breath.

'Very well then, no turning back.' "GRYFFINDOR!"

Applause crowded in from the Gryffindor table, and I happily joined what I would soon learn to call my 'real' family for the feast.

When the sorting was finished, Gryffindor had gained even more newcomers.

That's when I saw him again, sitting at the side of the messy-haired kid, trying not to draw attention. The aforemention messy-hair kid turned my way and smiled.

"Sirius Black, huh? Isn't your family one of those self-centered pureblood lines? Why aren't you in Slytherin?" he'd asked, a smile forming on his obnoxious face.

"Don't mind me, I'm a reject." I said, smiling back. "Salazar would be crying in his grave if I were in placed in Slytherin."

The boy laughed, loud just like I figured him out to be, and reached his hand toward mine.

"James Potter." He said in confidence.

I took his hand, shaking it and adding my own "You already know my name." to the conversation.

"This here is Remus, he doesn't talk much."

Remus, the shy one that I had seen at the station, raised a hand in a small wave of greeting.

"Hello there, Remus." I said. "Nice to meet you."

James continued on, introducing me to other new Gryffindors, and rambling on about how cute he thought that 'the red-haired girl, Lily' was. I was preoccupied with Remus though. Little did I know, I had just started the first of the processes that took over my life. Obsession or not forming, I had just acquainted myself with my polar opposite.

It was the beginning of an infatuation that I never noticed, and will never speak of. Like it or not, I had just began what would, in the end, be the ultimate challenge- because that's what love is, right?

**I was eleven.**

**-S.B**


	2. Year 1Responsibility

Two chapters, one day. Surprising. :3 Awesome. I don't own Harry Potter.

* * *

Chapter One: Year One, Mid-October. Responsibility.

In short time, the three of us had become best friends. Our routine consisted of attending classes, eating, and spenging time out by the lake-always together. We'd sit out at the lake for hours on end, and if it weren't for our classes taking up most of the time, we'd probably not have returned for days. Little to say, it was our absolutely favorite place to be.

On one particularly sunny afternoon, about halfway through October, we sat there working on a particularly long essay for Professor Slughorn. Our potions teacher wasn't usually so demanding, but this was fair punishment for a couple of potions gone wrong caused by a few argumentative Slytherins that decided to get on our bad side. For the sake of these Slytherins today, I will not name names. Basically, it was Snivelly against James, but I'm guessing you guys already knew that.

So we sat out there working on our essays, or rather, Remus was working on the essay, James was copying it, and I was wasting time throwing rocks into the lake.

"Sirius, you should really work on your essay.. or at least copy mine." Remus had piped up.

He looked at me with a slightly worried face. I knew that he was afraid of me failing, but I had my ways of avoiding that.

"Relax, Rem. I'll be fine." I told him, flinging another rock into the waters.

The shy boy sighed, returning back to his potions book. It was only seconds later when James intervened.

"Rem, what's this word here?" He asked, pointing at a word in Remus' essay.  
"Amphibian."

"How do you-"

"A-M-P-H-I-B-I-A-N."

"Ooooohhh. What's it mean?"

"It's a living creature, a type of-"

"This is soooo boring."

James stood up abruptly, striding over to me in a few easy steps. A smile grew on his face, one that I later learned meant that he had an idea. Now, I was interested in what  
James had to say.

"Sirius, how about you and I go do something worthwhile."

A smile appeared on my face as well, wondering what on Earth James' version of worthwhile would be. Later, I learned that it meant trouble- big trouble- and that we both were about to get in it.

"And what might that be?" I questioned him, adrenaline beginning to pump into my system.

"Well, I was thinking that it would have something to do with your Slytherin, er, acquaintances. Severus Snape in particular. Know him, right?"

"Right." I nodded.

"Well, how's about we... we..."

I frowned at this.

Way back when, James Potter wasn't the best at finishing his ideas. He knew the gist of what he wanted, and he knew who he wanted to do it to, but the thing was, he could never finish up to the 'how' part. That, my friends, is where our dear Remus Lupin would step in.

"You could always switch around ingrediants in his apothecary." He'd suggest. "Or better yet, slip him a love potion."

Those two words are the very words that began the hatred between James Potter and Severus Snape. James hated Snape with a passion, because he'd insist on end that he was doing everything possible to keep him away from the 'beautiful, magnificent, outstanding, etc.' Lily Evans. Snape didn't really have a clue who James was at the time, except for that he was someone who wouldn't leave him alone. I didn't really see the justice in why James hated him so much, other than he had extremely greasy hair and an extroardinarily big nose, but it was fun so I went along with it. And hey, James was my best friend. Why not?  
Moving onward, those two words were the very words that started it all.

'Love. Potion.'

How much more menacing could you get?

So we slipped Snivelly a love potion, and for a week, he was madly in love with none other than Lucius Malfoy. It was a truly amazing sight, watching the pale, greasy boy chase after the blonde. Eventually, though, it had to wear off.

So we pulled more and more of these pranks, getting better and better as we went. We each had a specific role to these plans- Remus the brains, James the acter, and I the sneak. It was added to the routine, James would form half a place, Rem would finish it, I would prepare, James would act. For the longest time, though, nobody figured it was us. I guess that they thought James and I were to dense to pull them, or maybe that it was more likely that upperclassmen were the ones up to no good.

Until a certain Peeves the Poltergeist stepped in.

This time, we'd done it, one thing that no one had ever dared to do before. Something so outrageous, we'd probably get expelled.

We had kidnapped Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris.

We snuck her into the Gryffindor Common Room in the dead of night, hiding her in the boy's dormitory. It was all going so smoothly, until the three of us realized that we had absolutely no idea how to take care of a cat.

Remus was calmly pondering what we were supposed to do with the cat, whilst James and I began to freak out.

"Well, what do we feed it!" James cried, flipping back first onto his bed.

"I don't know! Don't YOU have a cat, or something?" I told him.

"Of course not! Our family has, like, a million owls. What about you?"

"Nope, mum's allergic."

"What about you Remus, got any cats back home?" James asked, turning to face the brunette.

"Bet that scar on your face is from a nasty cat. Oh. You ever notice that scar, Sirius?"

"No, not really." I answered.

I was lying. I noticed it every second I spent with him. I had come up with millions of theories as to where it had come from.

"Yeah, sure." Remus huffed. "And no, I don't have a cat."

It was then that a boy, Paisely or Parker or something like that, sat up in his bed rubbing his eyes.

"What're you three doing?" He demanded, groggily.

"Teaching chocolate frogs how to tap-dance, what about you, Pettigrew?" James remarked, rolling his eyes.

The kid, Paisely-or-Parker-or-something-like-that Pettigrew, laughed, now fully awake.

"Funny, James." He said. "But what are you three really up to? Pulling an infamous prank again?"

"Yeah, if that's what you want to call it." James supplied. "What do you care of it?"

"Well, I thought I heard something about cats..."

"Yeah, and?"

"..I- I have a cat at home. Don't like him much, but Fluffy Wuffy-kinz is a pretty good boy. Maybe I could..help? And we could.. I dunno... Be friends?"

At this point, I was already rolling my eyes. Paisely/Parker hadn't any friends. That's what this was all about.

"So, let me get this straight, you know how to take care of a cat?"

Paisely/Parker nodded enthusiastically.

"Well... Sirius here just got a new cat, early holiday present from his mum, and we aren't exactly sure how to care for it."

"I did? I did! Yes, just in this morning." I said, smiling in our mischief

"How would you like to take care of.. Mr. Babber's for the next few days, in exchange for.. hanging out with us?"

"That'd be great Mr. Potter- uh, uh- James! I'd love to!"

And so, we gave Mrs. Norris to the oblivious Paisely/Parker Pettigrew, whose name is actually Peter, and I'm still not too fond of the man after what he'd put me through- all those years in Azkaban. If we had least gotten away with this one thing, I might not have loathed him so much. Oh what am I kidding, I hate him more and more each day. He's the reason James and Lily are dead today, the reason that I spent 12 years in Wizard Jail, the reason why my poor God-son Harry can't move in with me. I'll get him back, one of these days.

So as you can guess, we didn't get away with it for long. Eventually, Filch caught on, and Peter, whose name for the life of me I could never remember during our first year, was sitting in Filch's office with a punishment still pending. It's kind of hard to sneak a cat out into the Courtyard whilst being followed by the most annoying ghost to walk-hover?- the face of the plane when he's singing "Petty~Petergrew~got~himself~a~pet~petty~pet~the~kitty~!" behind you.

But then, Remus did something unimaginable-

He turned himself in to save Peter.

I recall thinking that I'd never met, and probably never would meet, someone as caring or as responsible as Remus Lupin.

Remus Lupin, who had a scar I couldn't quite define yet. Remus Lupin, still a very shy person at this point. Remus Lupin, who I fell madly in love with, but hadn't noticed for so long.

But I noticed something, something that I didn't pay attention to, and let it get out of hand.


	3. Year 3A Secret Revealed

(A/N): I don't own Harry Potter. :P

* * *

Over time, we all became quite good friends. If you hadn't seen it coming before, you must be pretty oblivious. Us... Marauders, as we like to call ourselves, we were a time bomb waiting to blow up. There was nothing that could stop it from happening.

Threw the course of years, we became a legend to the academic society within the Wizarding World. Although it was pretty certain that we wouldn't be expelled from Hogwarts for our outlandish and yet amazing pranking skills, we had headmasters and mistresses everywhere in terror that we might be expelled, and then transferred to other thus schools.

So, we tried even harder to keep up that reputation.

If you were with me, my real life self at the moment, you might just hear me laughing.

But before I go any further, I must make it clear and understood who us Maurauders are.

**James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and I.**

We were an irreplaceable pack, the four of us. James and I as the masters of prank-itude, Remus as our "brains", and Peter as our... henchman, if anything. The real reason he was with us was what we saw as our charity. An extremely plain, goody-two shoes boy gets sorted into Gryffindor? And he wants to be with us constantly? Fine, he can do our dirty work.

He was the one who fetched our supplies, the one that created our allibies each time that we were caught. Sure, we may not have treated him THAT kindly, but.. we treated him like a friend. His fault, not sticking up for himself, really. But I suppose that that all leads up to who he is today- a man that has trapped me in the confines of my own freedom, that is the Wizarding World. A dead man when I get my hands on him. I mean, the three of us could've sworn he was our friend.

Onward now, though. Back to the childhood relations that still need to be covered.

By our third year, as I meant to start off on today, we were already deemed inseperable. At least, James and I were. Peter would follow our suit, and Remus was always off on his own.

I remember being nearly driven crazy by it. Not by Peter, of course, but by Rem's absence. When he wasn't there, I could never get my mind off of him. When he _was _there, all I wanted to do was give him my full attention. Every last detail of him had me obsessed. For the longest time, I had convinced myself that this long obsession was only me wanting to be a good friend- to make sure that Remus Lupin felt included.

Now that I think about it, I wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. Even worse, I was _Black_. Haha. Puns.

Anyway, there was one specific time that I recall might've been the most touching moment of my life. The most... sentimental. My talk with Harry outside of Hogwart's comes in second, but could tie with it if I wasn't in love with Remus.

It was on the train, specifically. After a particularly hard summer, I had a feeling of betrayal, a feeling of hatred in me. If anything, I felt _cold_. Colder than a Slytherin might've.

Not expecting that, eh? Well neither was I.

You see, that summer was the summer that my brother Regulus was most honored. The former year had been his first at school, and his marks were near perfect. I can say little good of my own marks in school, but I'm afraid that's not what I'm here to discuss.

Happen you see this Harry, don't let any Marauders to come follow in my footsteps.

Back to the topic I have strayed from for far too long. However, in my own shame, I will not take note of the horrible thoughts from my mind.

* * *

The train bumped and jolted as it got going. I wasn't in too much of a hurry to find James, whom was probably too busy annoying Evans to care. Remus and Peter would find him soon enough, anyway, and I suppose I'm better off alone. Right. I know I'm right. Just find an empty compartment.

I made my way down the corridors to the very back of the train. There, an empty and lonely looking compartment waited for me. So, I busied my way into it, and hoped that no one would follow suit.

Especially not Remus. Remus couldn't know what I was, he never could. He was too good in heart, too perfect.

As luck would have it, not five minutes after I had settled into loneliness did the one and only Remus Lupin step into my compartment. He offered me a soft smile, before taking a seat on the bench across from me.

"Sirius. You aren't being you. Now tell me why it is that the _very_ extroverted Sirius Black does not wish to show his face."

Although there was a smile to him, I could clearly see that there was a sadness in his eyes. The scars along his face shimmered in the light, and all I could think was

"What happened to your face..?"

A frown took him, and I immediatly regretted ever saying it.

"An answer for an answer, my friend. And, if I do say so myself, it will only be fair if you answer first."

I grimaced.

"Fine. If you want to know, I'll tell you. My parents hate me, and I am filled with hatred at the very thought of _them_ as well."

Remus, with those entrancing, color transitioning eyes, stared at me like I couldn't be serious. Like everything in the world was just a load of bull. I knew he felt that way, too, for his fists were clenched, and his nostrils flared.

I hated being the one to make him feel as such.

"What do you mean, Sirius. They can't really hate you. I'm sure of it." He said.

I could quite honestly tell that he was trying to keep himself collected. It was a struggle nonetheless.

Stupid me, instead I gawked. My adolescent mind couldn't gather the fact that he doubted me.

"They ignore me." I huffed. "They talk about me to their friends and our countless, **_countless_**, family members! I'm their disrespected, unloved, and unwanted eldest son. Aside that, I'm a _mistake_!"

Remus jumped to his feet.

**"YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT BEING A REAL MISTAKE FEELS LIKE EVEN IF YOU LANDED YOURSELF A SPOT IN AZKABAN."**

And then he was gone.

* * *

What I did next was an act of pure adrenaline. Something I don't think that I would've had the courage to do had I been completely calm.

Hell, if I weren't in love with him, I don't think I would've said another word to him.

But I did something life changing, altering the smallest details of my life. In a way, all those small details gathered together, and changed my life completely.

I ran after Remus Lupin. Embracing him in a hug from behind, I asked him to come back, to tell me what was wrong, and to fulfill his end of our deal.

Well, it was more of me begging, but the boy complied.

He followed me back, and we sat down for what would soon be the most enticing and critical conversation of my life. Not even Azkaban could top this one.

Remus Lupin looked at the floor, refusing to look me in the eye.

And you know what happened next?

**_He told me he's a werewolf._**

In the end, it only made me love him more.


End file.
